


One Night

by heirofstupidity



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Sexual Content, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-31
Updated: 2011-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-28 14:54:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/309057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heirofstupidity/pseuds/heirofstupidity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If John and Dave were homosexual, adult, room-mates, this is how it would go down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Night

The newest saga of everyone's favorite trickster and the ironic boy wonder. After a long day of sitting around and being complete pieces of shit all day, John and Dave are enjoying a quiet night with each other. John's reading his giant book of douchery, and Dave's writing his awesome webcomic. After drawing a particularly erotic scene of Sweet Bro banging his own mom, a familiar urge strikes Dave. He leans back in his desk chair and lets his gaze wander over to his roommate, who has his dumb face burred in that gogdamn book. Dave could make a list of choice places he'd rather have John's face burred. But that was too much trouble, plus John is so derpy he'd probably get lost finding them anyway.  
“Hey Egbert,” Dave called out, but got nothing in response.  
“Egbert?” Dave said, his voice losing it's typical bored tone in favor of a more questioning tone.  
Giving an ironic sigh, Dave got up from his chair and walked the horribly long four steps to the couch John was sitting on.  
“Egbert.” Dave asked and pushed on John's shoulder. As Dave watched John slump down, a wave of confusion hit him, then was quickly replaced with a sudden dawning. Did John's retardedness know no bounds? The little shit had sat up another of his stupid dummy decoys. Dave gave another sigh as he picked up the human sized puppet John had set up in order to fool, or rather to trick, Dave. As Dave stared at the doll, he had to admit that John was getting better at sewing these things. Dave did his best to look as if he had no idea what was coming next. It was ironic because John had pulled this shit so many times before Dave knew exactly what was about to happen. First Egbert would pop his head out from behind the couch and yell, trying to surprise his roommate. Then up would come his left hand, armed with a cake, which he would then throw at Dave, and hope hit him. But that cake would never even think of touching Dave, poor thing would never know the pure ecstasy it was to touch the boy's creamy white skin.  
Then the shit started to go down.  
“Dave!” John yelled from behind the couch, and then jumped up with the cake in hand. Dave turned toward John and opened his mouth in a small O shape. Then John's hand cocked back and threw the cake as hard as he could at Dave. Dave rolled his eyes behind his shades as he watched the cake begin it's trip toward his face. He was the Knight of Time, so naturally he could slow time down. Not that he really needed to, as all his years of enduring Bro's 'training' more than prepared him for this. Dave calmly strode out of the path of the flying dessert and watched as it suicide bombed itself into the wall on the opposite side of the living room.  
“Hahahaha!! Oh my gosh Dave, the look on your face was soooo priceless!” John laughed, hopping over the couch. Dave was sure that the look on his face remained unchanged, but he let the little idiot have his giggles. John was laughing so hard, he had to sit his shit down on the couch.  
“I was so close that time, it looks like you're losing your touch.” John finally manged to spit out between laughs.  
“Yeah, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night, bro.” Dave replied calmly, again not telling Egbert that there was no way in a million years he'd fall for a lame ass gag like that.  
After a while, John's laughter subsided and he wiped the tears away from his eyes.  
“But, honestly Dave, I was really close this time.” John informed him.  
“Yup, you sure were Egbert.” Dave shrugged and sat down on the couch facing John.  
“One of these days I'm going to catch you, and your guard is going to be down, and then, BAM! A face full of cake!”  
“I'll just be standing there, like a little kid who's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, and mom walks in the room. And my face will just fucking drop, because I know my shit is so screwed.” Dave replied, playing into his friend's fantasy.  
“That's right! And It's going to be so ironic!”  
As the word ironic came out of John's mouth, the temporarily forgotten passion reignited within Dave, and he remembered what he was trying to do before shit got too hot to handle. At that point, Dave pretty much pounced on his derpy prey. He grabbed John's face and brought his mouth to his.  
“Dave, what are you-” That was as far as John got before Dave shoved his tongue into his mouth. John reciprocated by shifting his body until he was pinned under Dave, and tangling his hands in Dave's blond hair. John moaned as Dave's tongue danced with his own, and his hand slipped down and toyed with the top of his shorts. Dave left John's mouth and moved down to his partner's neck and began to kiss and suckle the tender flesh there. His hand slipped inside John's pants and then grasped his cock firmly. John gasped and bit on his lip to stifle a moan. Dave stroked him for a while, and quickly found that the fabric didn't allow for the amount of movement he was looking for. So Dave slid downward, lifting and removing John's shirt as he went. He licked and nipped at the boy's sensitive nipples, which  
illieded another moan from John. Moving farther down, he reached the retard shorts John always wore. He made quick work of them and the boxers they were hiding underneath and threw them away from their owner. Dave held back a smirk as he looked up to find Egbert's face flushed with embarrassment.

“You were saying something earlier about the look on my face, but maybe you should take a look at your own, because it's pretty fucking funny right now, Egbert.”  
“Sh-shut up!” John yelled and tried to cover up his nudity. Dave wouldn't have any of that shit though, and grabbed the young man's thighs and pulled them further apart.  
“What. You want me to stop?” Dave asked, making a pointed glance at John's very erect penis. “Could have fooled me.”  
“N-no...” John murmured.  
“What was that, I couldn't hear you.” Dave teased.  
“I-I don't want you to stop...”John said a little louder this time.  
“Okay, so what do you want me to do?” Dave teased John even more.  
“Um, I-I” John stuttered.  
Getting a bit bored, Dave licked the head of John's cock like a lolipop, hoping it would help him find his herpy voice.  
“Better tell me quick Egbert, before my sick fire burns out.”  
“U-use your mouth...” John said shyly before covering his face with his hands.  
Dave decided to stop messing with John, and just wrapped his lips around John's dick. He was hungry for cock and it was time to get shoveling. John groaned and bucked his hips closer to Dave's mouth. Dave smirked to himself, pleased that he got John to let himself go so much. One of Dave's hands slid down the length of John's pole, which contrary to popular belief was actually quite large. You couldn't tell with how modest the little shit was though, but that was one of the reasons Dave loved him so much. Not that he'd ever tell John that.  
As John's breathing began to hitch, and he arched his back closer to Dave, Dave licked two of his fingers, then used them to fiddle around with John's ass. John seemed to really respond to that, and gave more of his beautiful groans. As Dave inserted those two fingers, John bit down on his lip and stifled back a moan or two. John grew louder as Dave sucked him off and fucked his ass at the same time. When he knew he was close to orgasm, he tried to get Dave to stop, but the Texan wouldn't be deterred and instead began to fuck John faster and harder. At the last second, John couldn't help but entangle his fingers in Dave's hair and push him closer to his erection. Then suddenly, with Dave's fingers deep in his ass, and his mouth bouncing up and down his dick, John came. He screamed Dave's name and arched his even closer to Dave's hungry mouth. As Dave felt the rush of warm, sticky liquid in his mouth, he had to admit that he didn't like this part so much. But Egbert would be heartbroken if he spat it out, so he gritted his teeth and swallowed that shit like a boss.  
When John began to relax, Dave wiggled up his body and laid on his chest. He smiled as he looked at John's face, which was bright red at this point, and John was panting so hard he couldn't speak. Dave was pleased with his handiwork. They lay there for a while, cuddling one could say, then John broke the silence.

“Hey Dave,” He asked.  
“Sup?”  
“That was great and all, but what about you?”  
“What?”  
“I mean, aren't you, turned on too?”  
Dave paused, and regarded his still erect penis.  
“Yeah, kind of.” He smoothly replied, downplaying his current state.  
“Do you want me to...” John's voice cut off.  
“If you want.” Dave shrugged, and hoped that John got the message anyway. Luckily for Dave, John wasn't completely retarded. They switched things up a bit so that Dave was lounging on the couch, like a nude boss, and John was kneeling in front of him, staring at Dave's erection like a dog at a steak dinner. Dave's shade hid his eyes, but they didn't do much for the flush that covered his face.  
“Gog damn it Egbert, don't leave a brother hangin'.” Dave said coolly, yet on the inside he was really embarrassed.  
“Okay, Dave!” John said with a goofy grin on his face.  
Dave groaned as John's hot mouth enveloped his throbbing manhood. As Egbert's head bobbed up and down, Dave kept his hands on the back of the couch, but had to fight to keep them away from the back of John's head. It was amazing how good this felt, shit had to be illegal. John dropped down a bit and licked at Dave's testicles, while his hands snaked their way down even lower.

“Woah, hold it Egbert,” Dave freaked out a little bit and pulled John up “Going a little low there, cowboy.”  
“Well yeah, I was going to get you ready.” John replied, a little chagrin at being stopped like that.  
“Ready for what?”  
“For me to fuck you, duh.”  
Dave blinked, not that John could see this behind his glasses.  
“No way Egderp, you topped last night, it's my turn.”  
“But Dave!” John whined, his face turning into a pout.  
“Nope, I'm topping, end of fucking story.”  
John paused for a moment, then a shit eating grin came onto his face.  
“If I can't be on top, then I don't want to anymore.” And then he crossed his arms and legs and sat there on the floor, Indian style.  
As Dave sat and watched him preform this actions, he could feel his anger raising. It might have been in part because of his raging hard-on...okay that was the main reason, but he was pissed at John. He stood up slowly and walked toward John, his eyes spitting flame behind his glasses. When he reached John, he knelt down and placed a hand on John's shoulder.

“Dave?” John asked, uncrossing his arms and looking worriedly at his friend. It was then that Dave pushed John down to the floor, and took his place over the top of his derpy lover.  
“Dave! What are you doing?!” John yelled, his voice betraying his excitement.  
“You aren't going to get me and hot and bothered then abscond and leave me here with my junk all up and shit. I am topping, this is not a question, I am telling you. Your ass is mine.”  
Dave didn't give John a chance to reply, roughly kissing him instead. He shoved his tongue into John's mouth, and John eagerly accepted, wiggling his own into Dave's. Dave broke the kiss and positioned himself to enter John. He was really thinking of going in dry, but that wouldn't have been the cool thing to do. He hoisted himself off of John and ran into the bedroom. He came back moments later with a bottle of lube in his hand. Returning to his lover, he again pulled him into a kiss as he fiddled with the bottle. Dave barely manged to pull his self away from John long enough to pour a ton of lube on his hand, and bury his fingers in John's ass. John squirmed and moaned as Dave expertly massaged the tender flesh down there. When he believed John to be ready, physically and mentally for him, he sat back up, and hovered over him again.  
“Are you ready?” He asked.  
“A-Are you gonna wear your glasses again?” John asked.  
“Do you want me to?”  
“I'd like to see your face...” John reached for Dave's glasses, and for once, Dave didn't recoil. John pulled Dave's glasses off and looked up into his red eyes. Dave gave him a half smile, and blushed a little bit.  
“I'm ready.” John said, pulling Dave into a kiss. While in that position, Dave reached down and pushed himself inside John. John groaned into Dave's mouth. and wrapped his legs around Dave's waist, like some kind of koala. Then Dave started to move, pushing himself in and out of John, who moved with Dave, arching his hips to match the others movement.

The half-assed blow job Egbert had give him earlier had felt good, but it really didn't compare to what he was feeling right now. It went beyond the physical, not that that wasn't great too, but the emotions that surged through Dave, as he fucked John were intoxicating. Looking down at John's flushed face, eyes closed, mouth contorted in pleasure, made a wave of happiness flow through Dave. At this moment, he was completely content.

Being lost in his reverie, Dave must have stopped thrusting so much, because John opened his eyes and looked up at Dave worriedly.  
“Are you okay Dave?” He asked. Dave just gave a little smile in return, pleased that John was worried about him. Then his gaze turned red hot again, and he resolved to fuck John's brains out.  
He pulled out of John just long enough to quickly switch positions, turning John into a doggy style, then banging him from behind. Dave grabbed John's sexy waist with both hands and began to thrust from different angles and at varying speeds. John seemed to like that, and moaned loudly, moving back and forth with Dave's movements. That was Dave's breaking point, he knew he was going to cum soon, but he refused to cum before John. Reaching down, he began to jerk John off as he pushed into him from behind. It seemed that John was reaching his point too, as his moans grew more and more ragged.  
“Dave,” He breathed between pants. “I-I'm going to...”  
That was all Dave needed to hear, and he quickly pulled out, and helped John switch back into missionary before he practically dove at John and shoved his erection back in John's waiting hole. It didn't take long before Dave knew he was a lost cause.  
“John, I'm going to-”  
“Me too, baby. “ John panted. Dave looked down at John, and saw a wide smile playing on his red face. That smile soon twisted into an almost pained expression, and Dave gave a few more final thrusts before he felt John convulse beneath him. Letting himself go, he thrust deeply into John before cumming. He collapsed onto John's sweat covered skin, barely able to breathe.  
They lay there a while, recovering from their orgasms, just basking in the afterglow. Dave rolls off of John, and lays on his back staring at the ceiling. After a while, Dave sees John sit up and look worriedly at Dave's stomach. Dave sat up and looked at himself, noticing the fluid John was fussing over.  
“Don't even worry about it bro, that's what happens.”  
It doesn't seem to consul John too much, and he sits there pouting.  
“Just means I need to take a shower. And you're going to help me, right?” Dave says, with one of his half grins. This perks John right up and he nods.  
“Of course!”  
Dave stands up and offers John a hand, which he takes and he stands up as well.  
As Dave starts walking toward the bathroom, John makes a comment.  
“You know....it's kinda sexy seeing you all covered in my junk like that....like I marked you or something.”  
“Fuck you Egbert, that's nasty.” Dave retorts turning away from John.  
But he thinks to himself that it is really hot, not that he'd tell John that. Ever.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this quick one-shot for a friend, so there isn't really any explanation for the situation, it just kind of is. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
